A Note On The News

Yesterday, a bomb exploded at the Boston Marathon in the United States, 3 were killed and 173 others were injured. Across the sea, in Iraq, 20 bombs exploded killing many more than 3. In Somalia, a single bomb killed 29. EVERY SINGLE DAY, multitudes of innocent civilians die around the globe be it by a bomb, a natural disaster, or simply by natural causes. So why does it take trauma that hits close to home force us to stand up, unite, and collaborate to help? Why is it that a tragedy has to occur somewhere close to our hearts for everyone to come together and pray for family and loved ones? Why are we desensitized to the suffering that's REALLY going on behind the loss of life in areas outside of the United States? Why aren't we forming empathic relationships with the people of other countries that lose their family and friends to violence just as we do in the United States? 

Why is it that the stories that trend for the longest time are ones where a single individual, suffering and confused, brought terror to thousands? Why do stories of political debacles and corruption or the broad developments of war make the news EVERY SINGLE DAY? Why are lawsuits that dish out a couple million here or a billion constantly in the spotlight of our interests? Why do we care SO MUCH about these things when stories that carry much greater lessons happen every day? Why aren't the stories of inspiration, kindness and group happiness trending in todays social media? Maybe it's because what is most accessible for us to see and to relate our experience to is the news that we're provided? And consequently, maybe this is what our children are being taught to see in the world?

Why do we just hear of the body counts, cause of death, and the ensuing political crisis? Why do we so often hear of failing economies and the dangers of countries in turmoil? Why do the stories that gain popularity and a mass international following focus on lost, abducted and raped children, killings with large body counts, corrupt governments, dying celebrities and pandemics? Why do we support news thats effective at scaring us instead of demanding news that encourages our faith in humanity and generates joy? Maybe it's because we can all relate to the feeling of fear but maybe having compassion doesn't come as naturally for us? Maybe it's our reaction to fear, which has become more powerful than love, that has encouraged the consistant supply of news that focuses on the things that we fear most? Things like war, death, crime, financial instability and yes, politics.

Why don't we hear about the beauty of a country where this destructive news is taking place? Why don't we get to see the culture in the people of Iraq, Pakistan, Afghanistan or North Korea and China, Cuba and Mexico and many others? Why don't we see their geographical, demographical and spiritual differences that create unique, diversified human beings? Why don't we learn about the families and friends of the people there and what their social habits are? Maybe it's because we're seeing people through the lens of the news which limits its stories to politics, war and economics? Maybe we'd be able to empathize with their suffering if we got to see the picture of the people and not just the government? Maybe we need to see more than just 1%. 

So I've asked plenty of whys and suggested a few maybes (phrased this way because i accept differing opinions), but to sum up and provide a final set of questions for pondering: 

Who do you think the people are that decide what makes the news?

What kind of impact does the news have on you?

When will we get to see news that entertains us with compassion?

Cheers to feeling fear at the thought of not knowing where this news will lead us but on the bright side, cheers to aspiring not to limit our empathy to those closest to our homes because right now, the entire world needs a whole lot of love.

Learning to Love

I last posted a blog when i had returned from a road trip from Seattle to California, across the United States in to Chicago and eventually back to New York. Since then, many things have changed. I went back to work in New York City in November, only to find myself frustrated with the work environment and the hostility between individuals that's caused by work related stress. So.. I left. Again. I once again championed I-80 to get myself back across the United States to Utah where i was able to spend some much needed time alone with Cherie (for those that don't know - my girlfriend). A month later, I'm back at work. Again. I'm frustrated, again. A month from now, I'll be in Asia. Again - this time, Malaysia. I'll be working for another foundation that focuses on sustainable building technologies, material resource conservation and rainforest preservation. I'm thankful for working with such a flexible company that allows me to take the time I need to discover the world while I'm young. However sometimes i wish they would be open to differing opinions on how a corporate firm can operate in a socially responsible manner. I also wish they would offer their other employees the same opportunity at discovery as they've granted me.

Enough of that.. I'm not here to talk about work, or even travel. I'm here to talk about love. Yes, that gooey-ooey sappy topic that all men hate to read about, and all women love to drool over. If you're a follower of my blog, you'll notice that i've opened up quite dramatically to the world since i left my job earlier this year. You can see, and hopefully feel, my feelings on being altruistic with others, my newly found view on understanding complex issues and of course my terrible case of itchy feet. But what I've come to realize is that the common denominator of all my recent experiences focuses on love. Giving love to others, appreciating love between individuals and last but certainly not least, having love for myself.

Prior to my travels, I was afraid of love. I was scared to allow others to get too close to me, I was terrified at the thought of giving so much of myself to others. Hmm.. Giving so much of myself to others.. it's a bit of a controversial phase don't you think? When you say it aloud, do you feel selfish? Do you feel as if you're self involved? ego-centric? Good. It means you care. It means that in your heart you want to share that love but you're just not quite sure how yet. If you don't feel that way, then how do you feel? Take the time to explore the question for yourself because i certainly cannot answer the question for you. However, what I can tell you is that you have to love yourself before you can truly love another.

I spent four months in Nepal learning how to love myself by taking the time to understand the pains and miseries of those around me. I was so struck by the lack of love some people have for themselves that it made me want to give them as much of my love as I could. It made me want to build up enough love within myself, so that i could distribute it to others. To put it simply, I had to understand pain in order to give love. And as I continue to experience pain amongst others, It continuously fills my heart with more effort to give love where it's needed. It's a beautiful cycle when you're able to absorb the pain of another and turn it into love.

I can honestly say that I'm no longer scared of love, because i'm no longer afraid of giving myself to others. I've rid myself of the idea that if i give so much of myself to others, that i'll have none left for me. I've been able to do this because I've found that the more love that i give, the more that I receive. The more I share with others, the more I find out about myself. So the next time you feel as if someone is trying to put their pain on you, their frustrations, their anger.. try thinking about it this way: The more love you give them in return for their agony, the less pain you'll actually feel yourself. If you continuously give love to others, you'll continuously receive love in return. And who knows, you may even learn to love yourself in the process.

Cheers to filling the world with love, because god knows we need it right now.

Nepal to America

From a world of small communities and mental well being to a world of material treasure and individual gain for wealth and power. My thoughts are in a struggle to either find the meaning within our cities, or to simply run from them. I'm fighting not to let my mind dissolve the glue that holds together my meaning of life. I'm fighting not to turn on the culture that taught me how to think. I just want to get back to my new comfort zone abroad and once again feel life where i can choose how to create meaning from new experience.

But another part of me wants to stick around and create new meaning from old experience. I want the opportunity to look at my life from a new perspective; one that is framed around the concept of understanding why the way things are and how they came to be. I can't help but feel that life is full of first impressions, and sometimes that first impression just isn't enough. Places, just like people, tend to be shy; It takes time and patience to get to know them. I can feel the pulse of the city; I was raised by the metropolis. I treasure my material goods and I take pride in my individual gain. And yes, I want wealth and power. But with each passing day I question the importance of these values and I wonder if it's time to create new meaning from this old experience.

What I ultimately saw in Nepal was a new way to live life. I lived within the community and i saw a perfect example of interdependence on an appropriate scale. The abundance of selflessness was sustained by the need for help from others. When times are tough  you can have comfort in others and trust that they'll do their very best to help you when you're in need. It was also a life where everything you desired and dreamed, you had to make for yourself. Nothing is really given, everything has to be earned. And when you do earn that treasure that you've been seeking, it's shared amongst those that helped you all along the way. Nepal was a prime example of community, of friendship, altruism and understanding.

For me, I think creating new meaning from old experiences means that it's okay to take pride in my individual gain, because my motives are focused on the overall well being of the community. I seek wealth and power only because I know that those who are most capable of having their voice heard in our society have both of those things. Ultimately, I want wealth so that I can share it and I want power so that I can re-distribute it. I want to give it to those that deserve it, to those that have awareness for all sentient beings and aren't corrupted by it. This means that I can't run from the metropolis and I can't turn on my own culture, I have to live within it to get to the position where I'm capable of changing it.

This also means that I'll need a constant reminder of the truth that I'm seeking and the corruption that I'll face. I'll need to be abroad, feeling life and creating meaning from new experience in order to balance the discomfort caused from inhabiting a culture that I despise. I'll continue to practice what I love; I'll travel with passion but I'll work with dedication because I know, when the time comes for change, I'll be sitting in the driver seat waiting for the green light. In the meantime, I'll continue to create meaning from both old and new experiences and I'll drive the road until I'll eventually get to that red light. It's there where I'll be faced with a decision: Do I wait for the light to turn green, or do I take the risk and hit the gas? Do I sit and wait for change to happen or do I make change happen myself?

Cheers to choosing how you create meaning from experience.

Failing to Build, Learning to Understand

Spending a week in Pokhara, a form of tropical paradise set at the base of the Annapurna Himalayan range, i've had nothing to do but reflect on our past four months in Nepal. There have been no priorities to my daily actions and it has brought about a freedom that i thought had been lost. I see this moment as a childhood memory - playing without a care in the world, away from pressure to conform and influences that can be destructive to your sense of imagination. It has been this sense of freedom, or escape if you will, that has allowed me to see clearly into my experience in Nepal and bring to the table my most important lesson thus far: Learning to Understand.

Take time to understand the world and the world will show you how beautifully diverse it really is. We have to stop living through the paradigm of our own cultures and embrace diversity with an open mind. In order to fully experience another culture, you have to become one with it and in order to do this, you have to take the time to develop a relationship that matters most - friendship.

I came here with a plan - a plan to build an orphanage. I'm leaving here with a plan - a plan to build an orphanage. I came here thinking that in four months i could crack a whip and manage a project schedule that would allow us to complete the project. I failed. Why? Because I didn’t understand. I tried too hard to say, "well this is how we do it in my country." i tried to push standards that are not custom to Nepal and are the results of a much faster paced society in which i was born in to. A society that focuses its priority on seeing people as commodity; the question is always, what can I do for you, and what can you do for me?

After a few months of painfully slow work, i began to realize that what is most important here is the relationship with those that you work with, not meagerly what they can offer you. Fast pace and rapid acceleration can not be found here but what you can find are beautiful working relationships. There’s more laughter than anger, more spirit than grogginess and most importantly - enduring friendship. People don't put priority on their end goal, they put priority on the process by which you get there and the relationships that you develop on the way. None of this can happen if there's a whip at your ass and you can't have time for yourself, let alone others. In my year in NYC i saw a group of 50 individuals 5 days a week for 8-10 hours a day and i barely scratched the surface with just a few of them, trying to get to know them, and not solely the work. However, in my work here, i've met people that within two days i've developed the same social relationship that it took me a year to develop in NYC. It goes to show that when priority is placed on PEOPLE and not production, we all benefit from friendships that may last a lifetime and a happiness in the workplace that is irreplaceable. When you take the time to understand others, you walk away from experiences with friendship, which can be much richer than any physical object that your trying to obtain - or in my case build.

Sometimes we get so caught up with our jobs that we fail to make the connection that our job occupies a majority of our time in life. We focus all of our energy monday through friday on completing tasks and racing against the clock to meet deadlines. We get so stuck in this process of day in and day out - just another day we may say. But do you really want to live your life like this? Do you really want to spend 40 hours a week dreaming about the 20 hours to come this weekend with your friends? 

Not everyone loves their job, but what you can love is those that you work with. Before asking for a favor from a co-worker, see how their doing first. Ask about how they're feeling and take the time to actually know them outside of a strict working relationship. When you focus energy on making friends, and not coworkers, your working relationship becomes much smoother and much more fulfilling.

 I always say that there’s a bit of good in everyone, that there’s something to learn from the uniqueness of every person that you meet. What i've learned from the Nepalese people is one of the most powerful lessons i've had to date: when you put priority in understanding others, you start to see the world with new eyes - eyes that allow you to see the beauty in everyone’s heart. 

I came to Nepal to build an orphanage. I failed. However, what i did accomplish was an understanding amongst people that we are indeed people, not commodities. We're not just labor, we're flesh and blood, mind and spirit, heart and happiness. 

It may sound cliche, but i can honestly say that there is a large piece of my newly found heart that will linger in this beautiful place. Which is why next year, i'll return to reclaim that piece of my heart, and finish this orphanage with a newly found passion for understanding. 

Cheers to understanding, cheers to friendship and most importantly, cheers to the Nepalese for teaching me the most valuable things in life.

Western (Di)Vision

Do you know that feeling when you move to a new place - say leave for college, or move to a new city - where everything is seen with twinkling eyes and you're aware of so many things at once because it's all so new? If you've had this feeling, then you've probably also had the feeling when you begin to get comfortable and your awareness of your surroundings begins to fall in to the "i've seen it before" category - when routine sets in again and normality inhibits your schedule. 3 months in to the trip, and the flash and bewilderment of going to a new country has faded, and i find myself just "being" here.

Thoughts of amusement and excitement from seeing new things have come sparingly and my focus seems to have switched towards life as it really exists here. I guess the best way to put it is that i've stopped comparing life here, with life in the united states. I've slowly pushed habits from american culture to the back of my mind and have in many ways, disconnected myself. With a deep rooted sense of complacency, i've felt as if i've merged in to the life here and begun to understand more through the lens of nepali's, rather than myself.  I feel my heart grow slightly heavier every day as i began to understand about the lives that they live and suddenly my first three months of delight in seeing people live these simple lives was struck with compassion and sadness for the struggles that they face in a developing world. The pressure to live in "healthy" conditions, eat a proper diet and make money to buy new things and keep up with an inflating market.

70 years ago, before Nepal opened its doors to the west, it's people lived without these pressures of wealth and development. But as soon as western influence penetrated the tall mountains surrounding the country,  a new idea of comfort set in. As the country began to face pressure to release itself from third world status, problems of homeless and poverty emerged. Thats not to say that they didn't already exist - it's just that they weren't labeled in such negative terms. People didn't see themselves as "homeless" or "poor" until western realities were introduced upon them.

This brings me to the point that this whole writing is meant to make: Who are we to judge what is comfortable in others lives? What makes it right for us to label others as "third world" - making them feel that they're behind in every way? Theres no fairness in the rating of peoples lives, theres no justice in labeling others as more needy. It's time that we stop judging the world through the eyes of the west, and begin to find light in every country, in every corner of the earth. Nepal may not have a materialistic lifestyle and through the eyes of a westerner, it may be lacking quite a bit. But if we stop judging the world based on one way of living, so many people would be able to see the beauty inherent in all living places.

Our people, our cultures, our uniqueness.. These are the things that make our world beautiful. Not how much we own or how developed we are. This country is beautiful for its people and its landscape but is labeled as ugly by the world because of its advancement on the scale of society. This country would have been a lot better off without us.

 Cheers to the world not being flat.

Walking the Path

Its been almost two months since i left life in the states and nearly two years since i graduated from architecture school. I've begun to notice a common theme inherent in the past two years of work and the past two months of travel - when you strive to accomplish a goal its not always reaching the goal that teaches you what you need to know. Rather, its the process of the path that gets you there that really gives you insight. 

I just returned from a 7 day trek in the Langtang region of the Himalayas where a group of us scaled 16,000 feet of rock and earth, passing through some of the most beautiful landscape this world has to offer. I didn't embark on this adventure for bragging rights, physical exercise or even the beauty that i knew would be there. I left knowing that I needed a place to think clearly - to finally get the opportunity to walk away from influence and walk on to a path to truly seeing myself as an individual, free to the world of experience. My goal wasn't to get to the top of that peak but to understand what actually got me there.

We had no idea what we were getting ourselves in to on our first day and we ended up climbing nearly 7000 vertical feet, pushing most of us to our physical and mental limits. Most of the climb i was reduced to a mental state of numbness - nothing on my mind but the process of putting one foot in front of the other and repeatedly lifting the weight of my own body towards a goal that seemed all too far away. Thus came my first lesson of the trek that applies to life: 

Sometimes under the weight of our ambition we set goals for ourselves that appear impossible. As grueling as that path may become it's always important to remember that as long as you keep stepping, you're getting that much closer.

We arrived in a small, wonderfully cheerful buddhist village on a small flat clearing on the side of the mountain. Much to our satisfaction we found shelter with a cheerful family near the top of the village. Exhausted, we ate dinner with the family and decided that we would stay the following day in the village for a day of much needed, un-planned rest. We spent our day experiencing the beautiful  life in this remote mountain village and resting our extremely tired bodies. Kaji, our kind host, brought us to the buddhist cave temple that sat at the top of the hill in the afternoon where a couple of us tried our best to sit in silent meditation. I was reflecting on the previous day and the struggle that we had all been through when i finally came to the understanding that without that day, we would have never stayed in this village which had such an overwhelming impact on the way i see the world. This taught me the second lesson of the trek that applies to life: 

Sometimes we push ourselves so hard to accomplish our goals that we have to step away from them for a while. Always unplanned, this break from our dedication can lead to unexpected experiences that may actually change the way we continue along the path to accomplishment.

The following day we strapped on our packs for another 4000 foot climb up the mountain. After pushing ourselves so hard that first day we had high spirits and an attitude that we can do anything. Walking through a forest of old growth rhodedendrums, i was thinking to myself that these trees that we always see as bushes in the US appear so magical because of their ability to survive. They're beautiful because of the history that they carry and the growth that they've accomplished - the way that they stand out amongst the rest of the forest with their white, pink and red flowers that only come out for one week of the year. This taught me my third lesson: 

Along the path we stumble through many unknowing forests. But if you take the time to look around, you'll see the growth that encompasses you.

We stayed in a tea house in a village named Therapati for the night near the snow covered peaks at 12,000 feet. Well below freezing the next morning, the crisp mountain air constricted my lungs but we managed to crawl out of our sleeping bags to catch the sun peeking over the mountains. We once again strapped on our bags and started another day of relatively flat terrain across the valley to reach the pass that would bring us to 16,000 feet. As we walked and the sun warmed the air, i started to think about the different climate zones that we had passed through in the previous days. Jungles and forests, valleys and streams, pine trees and tropical plants scattered the landscape. Our final destination was the snow covered rocky peaks. The constantly changing environment taught me my fourth lesson: 

Along the path you'll experience many different environments -some filled with sunshine and some filled with darkness- and embracing these vastly different emotions without judgement allows you to enjoy every moment of their uniqueness.

Finally, the day we've been waiting for - laribina pass that takes us to the peak of gosainkunda at 16,000 feet. We strap on the pack and start the slow climb. Spirits are wild as we know how close we are to accomplishing our goal and smiles are tattooed on everyones faces. The temperature is cold and we're all bundled with every layer in our bag. Step by step our anticipation grows and then there it is - the peak! We sat triumphantly on top and enjoyed the view while reveling in reaching our goal. But as we sat there i couldnt help but feel that the sense of accomplishment that generally accompanies reaching your goal just wasn't there for me. I was happy, but i wasn't deeply satisfied like i thought i would be. We spent the next day and a half rapidly decending down to 5000 ft because a few of us were struggling with the high altitude and low oxygen. It was during this decent that i realized my 5th and final lesson about accomplishing your goals:

It's not always the goal that teaches you the most, its about the path that takes you there and the decent that brings the reflections. Amongst all the scenery that we perceived on the way up, by far the most beautiful was what we saw on the way down. Frozen lakes and snow covered mountain sides accompanied vast views of the ranges beyond our current peak. It showed me that once you've accomplished your goal the real satisfaction doesn't come from merely completing it but manifests itself within the mindset to keep moving after reaching the peak in order to strive beyond your expectations. That is where the true beauty lies in accomplishing your goals and that is where you'll find the satisfaction that drives you to continue along an infinitely unfolding path of life. 

Cheers to accomplishing your goals and forever climbing higher.

Loss in the Community

Saturday – Nepal’s one day weekend, and our day to explore. This particular Saturday I decided to take the Champa Devi hiking route, located just behind the foundation which takes you directly up to the peaks of the mountain range that continuously cast’s its shadow on the village. Another volunteer here, Silea, asked if she could join and of course I welcomed the presence. It’s always better to have someone along.

The walk up is a warn in trail of hard packed earth and rocks, traveled for centuries by the locals to reach their century old homes and occasionally to celebrate the new year on top of the mountain. We pass through several villages, consistently being turned around by the, “ello! What is yer name?” of the small children who are just now learning English is school. We walk through a field, where an energetic man recognizes my face and flails his arms in the air to say hello. This man, full of life, was one of the bamboo experts who we had recently worked with to construct a bus shelter that we’re currently building. After we exchange hellos, we continue our trek up the mountain. There reaches a point when the earthen trail turns to a shamble of broken rocks laid out to form stairs. At the peak, there’s a new construction of paved stones that pave a smooth path, making for an easy stroll amongst a beautiful setting. Silea and I found a nice flat grassy area and sat down to rest.

After an hour or so of chatting, we decided it was time to go down. There were heavy, ominous clouds moving in and a bone chilling wind that gracefully pushed the tops of trees and caused the leafs to ruffle. Descending the stairway to heaven that brought us to the top we stopped occasionally to rest our legs and have a drink of water. 3 hours later, we found ourselves back in the villages with kids screaming “ello!” once again. Passing by the same field which we found our energetic bamboo man earlier, we noticed a gathering at the house just below the field. Walking through the villagers, many tried to communicate with us asking if we were part of the foundation just a 20 minute walk down the hill. It seemed they wanted us to stay for a bit, have a cup of tea maybe. How wrong we were.

I found the comfort in recognizing our bamboo man, with a pile of smoked cigarettes in front of him. He was sitting on his porch, cross legged staring into space. As I greeted him, something didn’t seem right. He wasn’t enthusiastic; he wasn’t flailing his limbs in joy to see us like he always had. He looked up, found my eyes and said, “my father… dead.” I gazed slightly to the right, to find the body of a frail man wrapped in a sheet, laying on his back only a few feet from his son. Words cannot express the sorrow that I wanted to, because words mean nothing when you can’t speak another’s language. I gestured with my heart, I let my body speak for my mind’s mourning.

This is my first direct experience with death. I’ve never seen life change so fast. One minute, a charismatic young man; another minute, a torn and cheerless individual struggling to cope with reality. After the event, continuing our walk down the hill I couldn’t help but try and understand what had happened. I, also, was struggling to cope with reality. It forced me to realize how fragile life can be, how anything can change so vastly at any given moment. It made me think of my family, my friends, how any one of them could find themselves in this situation. Most importantly, it made me realize how special life really is. How graced we are to exist and how wonderful it is that we have this time to live our lives in meaningful ways. Death, I’ve found, is not merely a time of sorrow but rather, a celebration of life.

My heart tonight rests solely with this man and his family, his friends and his community; for I am part of this community now and a loss is felt in every member’s heart. My thoughts seek to find his spirit and to wish him an enduring sense of happiness wherever he may come to rest.

Cheers to this man, whom I’ve never met but will forever remember.